My sexual orientation is straight
to the computer when I wake up
windows 8 can suck my dick
I can’t believe how far technology has come
"what life? i’ve been away."
JOHN WAS SHERLOCK’S WHOLE WORLD
SO HE ASSUMED IT WAS THE SAME FOR JOHN
PLEASE KILL ME
no but seriously imagine being a muggleborn wizard at hogwarts and then when you learn to conjure your patronus it turns out to be a pikachu
#and everyone’s like ‘ooooh what sort of magical creature is this’ #meanwhile the muggle borns are laughing their asses off going ‘PIKA! PIKA’ at you #not but srsly how come muggle borns don’t have a super secret club making inside jokes and snarking right back at elitist purebloods
#i fully support this #muggleborns writing with pencils and pens instead of stupid quills #using muggle slang to answer to insults #teaching their housemates about muggle culture and introducing them to tv shows and books and movies #you have no idea how much i want this #hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home
I mean as a person who’s had to integrate in a foreign culture (which is think is similar to how muggle borns would initially feel in the wizarding world) I know how you, despite wanting to become part of the community, seek out people like you by instinct. Tbh, all the European kids in my town would spend at least the first thirty minutes of any conversation with each other talking about how seriously no Communist is like a dirty word here and why don’t they have Kinder eggs in this fucking place is2g. So it makes sense to me that muggle borns would seek each other out and make inside jokes and dude the new Pokèmon came out bloody hell I’ll have to wait for summer to play it ugh and shit please tell me your mum sent you ballpoints again I seriously cannot deal with all this ink I keep staining everything.
Sorry I vomited words on here omg sorry I just realizedMuggleborns creating a room in hogwarts that’s essentially a magical faraday cage so their tech actually works and they can at least watch Avengers and use a goddamn laptop even if there’s no bloody internet.(seriously writing everything by hand? I was the one of the first kids in my elementary school to be like FUCK THAT SHIT and start turning in all my papers as computer print offs and using the internet as a research resource, I would find a way and I’m not the only one)
Also they teach the house elves how to make pizza. Because pizza
When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary
Except for Ellen’s book right
Me: Mom there’s this concert-
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.